Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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