Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
