bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will be naked everywhere
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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