Sponge bath it is.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
