i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
