It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
