it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I believe in your delicious
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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