Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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