My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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