I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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