I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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