i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
