i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
