if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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