She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize