and you said cock pushups were impossible
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
