so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
