some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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