i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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