____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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