I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
