dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
