If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
