How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
