Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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