I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
