we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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