There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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