butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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