I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
