I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
