I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
