so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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