I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
