Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
