listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
