you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
