She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize