There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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