did you get engaged???
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
