Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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(530): View more from California

is this the sara with the beer cane?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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(802): View more from Vermont

I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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(575): View more from New Mexico

He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.

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(518): View more from New York

Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.

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