her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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