I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
