Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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