Ambien. No doubt about it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ladies don't puke and tell
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
