So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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