I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
