we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
