Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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