her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
