i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
