it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
