i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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