I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
