u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
