Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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