i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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