Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
