I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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