I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
